I can’t tell you how to make your wife more comfortable with oral, but what I can tell you is that you’re not alone. You belong to a healthy-sized group of people who profess to have a desire to lick their partner down when what they really want is their ego stroked. It will be easier for you and healthier for your marriage if you replace “Champ Cunnilinguist” with a different attribute to be proud of.
First, I want to thank you so much for writing, because your question is going to help so many people who don’t know how to help their friends who are dealing with an abusive relationship. To give you the best answer, I spoke with Marta Miranda-Straub, president and chief empowerment officer at the Center for Women and Families.
Let me start by letting my readers know that this question has been trimmed down due to space constraints, but this is the general gist. Also, this is one of those cases where I know the letter writer and the awesome partner too! I don’t know the Gemini-bestie, but that’s probably because I’ve met all the Geminis I need to meet in my life. Well, I take that back, I’d totally meet Beyoncé’s new twins.
I agree. I don’t think that, in general, there’s anything wrong with helping your partner through a rough patch with a little financial assistance. But I think there’s a whole lot wrong with taking advantage of your partner in any way, whether that be physically, emotionally or financially.
So, at some point between you sending me this email and me responding to it, I had a Facebook friend post “When are you giving me grandkids?” Isn’t funny, and it puts undue pressure on relationships. Among the outpouring of compassion and co-signs was a baby crazy meemaw-in-waiting who was straight up like: Nope I’m Still Gonna Bring It Up All The Time And Be Pushy About Wanting Grandkids Because I’m Old And I Do What I Wantz. And I Want Them Like Yesterday By Any Means Necessary. OK, well maybe not exactly that, but that was basically what was said. My friend patiently tried to reason with her, but she was not having it. Gave my pal the social media equivalent of “Toodles!”and bounced.
Ugh. What an uncomfortable situation to be in. I know one of the best parts of running into old coworkers is hearing about who’s still there, who isn’t, if your old boss still does that thing that drives everyone crazy and other hot office gossip. So, I don’t think you participated in anything out of the ordinary. You were also directed by Carson not to let it get back to Tammy that he blabbed her business — again, not out of the ordinary.
Q: So, about a week ago, I started dating this girl I’ve been liking for a while. She likes me back, and we are happily dating, but she’s been hiding it from her family. I understand the fear of coming out — I and many of my friends have gone through it. And I understand her reluctance to tell her family, as she’s in a religious one … However, I really like her and want to be open about my relationship. Another friend of mine said to put it on pause until she comes out, but I’m afraid of how long that’ll be.
— Come Out, Girlfriend
I was at Big Bar enjoying a brief burst of springtime weather recently with one of my faves, Big Bar’s manager, Drew Gillum. He introduced me to his bartender, who we will call A who immediately laid a question on me:
How do I convince my boyfriend that I’m not trying to cheat while I bartend?
Before leaving the Derby City for a city by the sea, I’d only been to the Derby once, while I was an undergrad in college, and that was to work it. I was an elevator girl on the old Millionaire’s Row.
“I’ve never had this many nudes in my phone,” Tamika Dozier said, as she flicked through photos that women and non-binary folks have sent her since she began #LYON — Leak Your Own Nudes — four months ago.
Leading up to a recent #LYON art exhibit Dozier organized, I chatted with her and others about their experiences around the #LYON movement.
Dan, as it turns out, is really more like Dan Cuddly Bear than Savage. I knew who he was before I started writing this column, but when I landed the gig, I sat down and read tons of his columns in The Stranger. I’d also read “Dear Prudence” and a lot of “Dear Sugar” to prep.
You know what happens when you tweet something about trying to steal Dan Savage’s crown as the internet’s most-regaled dating advice guru?
He invites you on his show.
C’mon. If anyone can pull off a wedding in three months, it’s you Boo. You’ve already done the hard part. You found someone worth marrying — Dear, Future Husband, Where Are You?! — and you had a super adorable baby with that someone. He’s a good father. He’s isn’t an asshole. He has a job he’s been at forevs. You have a job you’ve been at forevs. You two are stable as a table. You’re legit checking off all the boxes society measures us against. On top of all that, you shouldn’t feel like you have to live up to some nonsense wedding standard to have the “perfect wedding.”
Q: Is there a way to tell a woman that you are not ready for a long-term relationship without her suspecting you of being immature and/or promiscuous?